11 Things No One Tells You About Owning a Cat

And for today only, you can have kittens delivered to your home or office through Uber (in select cities), brought to the masses by Cheezburger! All it takes is a $30 donation to ASPCA and those fluffy piles of love are headed your way. And should you decide to adopt one of those precious kittens, there are some things you should know about owning a cat: 1. Your significant other will never be able to get you flowers again. Well, he/she can get you flowers but you can't bring them home. Your cat will eat them/or just make it its mission to knock them over. It's just like that old saying: "You can have cats or plants. Never both." 2. Every single cat is different. Did you grow up with a cat that was completely indifferent to your presence? Not all cats are like that, so don't be surprised when you adopt a kitten and you discover that it always wants to be cuddled up in your lap. 3. Cats are freaking weird. You will ask your cat multiple times: "Why are you such a weirdo?!" The running around for no reason, the weird morning habits that involve certain toys and its desire to suddenly stare at the ceiling for hours on end….cats are strange creatures. 4. You will never got to the bathroom alone again. For some reason cats love to follow you into the bathroom, maybe because they know you'll be sitting down with no place to go for at least 30 seconds so they want to take advantage of that uninterrupted petting time. And if you do shut the door, you'll either get barraged with meows or you'll just see little paws sticking through the crack under the door. 5. No plate of food or glass of water is safe. You know how dogs can sit and stare at you while you eat, making sweet, begging eyes? Whenever dog owners complain about that, cat owners just laugh because at least the dog just sits and stares at your food. Cats just straight up walk up to your plate and take food off of it. Or they'll stick their heads into your glass of water to drink it even though they have a fresh bowl of water literally two feet away. 6. You'll have to deal with some gross stuff. Yes, cats do their business in litter boxes so you don't have to pick up poop with plastic bags, but sometimes, if your cat has a lot of fur around their butt, "stuff" gets stuck in there. And you have to chase your cat around the house with scissors because the only way to get it off is to cut the fur. And hairballs? They can be quite disgusting. 7. You will become a "cat lady". That means that you will become the type of cat owner you used to make fun of. You will spoil your cat. You will call it your baby. You will take so many photos of your kitty to post to social media that Facebook and Instagram will send you warning emails. You will talk to your cat in a weird, high-pitched voice. It's inevitable. Just let it happen. 8. You have to think twice before buying certain stuff for your house. For example, you have your heart set on some beautiful curtains, but before you take them to the cash register, you now have to consider that fluffy ball of trouble that lives with you. Will your cat claw it to death? Should you buy cheaper curtains? Most of the time you just won't bother buying stuff like that at all because you know it'll eventually get destroyed by the cat. 9. You will never be able to watch any movie again that involves a cat……unless you know 100 percent for certain that the cat doesn't even remotely get injured. Homeward Bound? Forget about it. 10. You will spend a staggering amount of money on cat stuff. We're not just talking about buying toys and special food for your kitty. No, we're also talking about purchasing clothing with cats on them for you to wear (even though you swore you'd never buy that cat sweater) and all the money you'll throw at cat shelters because you wish you could save them all but you can't so donating is the next best thing. You just might as well save half your paycheck for cat-related expenses.